Possibilities

I was thinking today...

What happens if you usually jump into something because you want it to happen immediately and reap the benefits right away, but you've suddenly hit upon some mind-shattering truth that maybe the waiting is actually the best part?

Okay, it's not exactly hypothetical, it's truth. And it may or may not be happening to me.

I feel a bit more mature for the sheer fact that I can recognize myself in the past and myself in the present, and the past me definitely jumped into things. All the time. Every time.
Relationships, hookups, party plans, friendships, arguments, vague notions that never quite panned out but by god the initial forward momentum was there!

And sometimes I see that it wasn't what was called for, or I didn't fully commit to it, or the recipient was obviously not quite as ready to jump in the deep end as I was, and so things fell apart.

Now, though, let me entertain the notion that if I wait for it, if I just hang on that little extra bit, wait until the circumstances and the stars line up neatly and everything fits correctly and I can think things through, maybe it will work.

I don't really need to know the end, or how my story is progressing in ten years, I just need to know that it's progressing and that wherever I end up is where I end up, and for now I'm enjoying the possibilities.