Reluctance and Respect

Recently I was emailing one of my professors and wanted to tell her what I was up to and where I landed after my four magnificent years of exceptional education.

And I thought to myself, what would she think of me now? I have a great job that I like and don't plan on leaving in 2009 anyway, but it's not at all what I set out to do when I first graced the studious halls and stages dripping with creativity. Theater, I said. That's it. That's all there is, that's what I love and want to do forever. People actually get paid to stand on a stage and pour out their heart?

So I guess I discovered that there is more than one "right way" to go. I found something else that I'm good at, and I'm putting it to the test. The magnetic bond between myself and my job is still building, not quite there yet as it was in theater, but I could see it taking off within a couple of years. If you're good at something and people notice, why shouldn't you pursue it, right?

I'm not going to say that I'm reluctant to say what I do, because that's not true. I'm proud of where I ended up. But sometimes I do wonder what would have happened if I had catapulted myself into NYC or LA and just tried to make it work. Scary, yes. Regrettable? Probably not. But I like it here. Even if I am playing it safe. Then again, maybe the risk is what makes things interesting. If I can find the risks in the day-to-day and continually take them and come out on top, that's just as rewarding. It's still a goal, still something to reach toward.

I don't think I will be winning any Tony awards soon but I will be winning my own respect, and that's more important than shiny gold statues on the mantel.

Symmetry and Stupidity

Perfect design doesn't have to be symmetrical.

What is the world's obsession with symmetry?

I used to be a follower of symmetry too. Occasionally I think I am developing OCD because I still have the tendency to want everything perfectly aligned, perfectly planned, perfectly calculated, and I'll tell you, it's not all it's cracked up to be!

This morning I came to the office and sat down at 8:27. Naturally I couldn't start focusing until exactly 8:30, so I started making a to-do list. Two things got scratched out and I had to make a new list on a new post-it so there wouldn't be any ugly scratch marks. But by then, it was 8:34, so I had to wait another 6 minutes to start being productive. What a weirdo.

So that's not really symmetry, but my point is that if we all just stopped for a second and thought about why we need things to align and why I can't begin working until the time is a multiple of ten, we would see that these things don't have to be!

We CAN go and paint in big bold strokes that don't work together.

We CAN wear mismatched socks. In fact, I know a few people who already do this.

We CAN start tackling a big project even if it is not perfectly planned out.

And sometimes things work out.

Creating Habits

I always hear that if you set aside time each day to do something it will become a habit.

For me, I have found it to be...

• very true for writing.
• somewhat true for cleaning my room.
• definitely not true for avoiding sugar and coffee.

But to get back to example one, I have to agree that writing every day makes me want to write more. I thought it would be the opposite and I'd get sick of it. I guess it depends on what you're putting aside time FOR. So, if you like making to-do lists and give yourself fifteen minutes each morning to organize your day and make a list, then you will do it. If you hate to work out, but block out an hour every day when you get home, grudgingly you will probably get used to it being part of your time.

Setting small goals is the key. Make yourself do something for three days straight and just focus on those three days, and see what happens on four.

I don't need a choreographer.

I just wanted to share that I found an entire section in On Demand devoted to learning music video dance moves. Why was this not brought to my attention before??
So basically this Friday I can be Britney, Justin, Pink, and about 30 other celebs by stealing their moves from these speedway-paced lessons. Look for me in the spotlight!

Also excited that that my band has a gig on my birthday in July...woohoo!! Maybe I'll do something crazy to celebrate.
Suggestions?