These Fads are Over - Part 1

So here I am again after a long break, for which I have absolutely no excuse.

Today's topic: "These Fads are Over, Part 1"

1. Leggings as pants. This fad is over.
Thank you to one of my theater friends for pointing me towards an enlightening article about this not-so-hot trend that has even been (wait for it...) GROWING. I apologize to all of those currently sporting hot pink, lacy, and/or zebra-striped leggings as you read, but there is no need. To quote, "if you are hot, it is distracting," and "if you're not, it is disgusting." I will agree with the author in that they are entirely acceptable under long sweaters, minis (but not too mini, please!) and some dresses with some boots. That's all.

2. Cougars (yes, you). Your fad is over.
No thanks to reality tv and the publishing world, the women that roar are only making noise for themselves. I don't think you're cool because your growling mate is 20 years younger than you and could be your cub. The term "cougar" in itself implies that you run around seeking attention and preen in the corner when you're not. I'm not interested in watching you preen, sorry.

Packing for Experiences

I am astounded at myself because I have only just started packing for a trip coming up on Saturday that I have been anticipating since I left last year - the annual family camping trip in Maine. Normally I would have my bags zippered, my mix cds in their cases with articulate and colorful labels, and my grocery list itemized by category for easy shopping upon arrival.

This year, however, I did not cross one thing off my list until 11 pm last night. Mostly because the lengthy stay of some out-of-state family members pushed off my list-making. And then an email graced my office inbox yesterday, nothing in the body, only a subject line reading "4 days." Thankfully I knew it was my cousin and not some creepy follower of The Ring. But I was thrown into motion and can think of nothing else now but seeing the level of my duffel bag rise.

Why is packing almost as fun as the trip itself? I throw a stack of shirts on the bed and sit for an hour contemplating which tank top will produce the most "wow"s at first sight, which sweatshirt will retain the most sand, which t-shirt I'll take off in the canoe when I want the sun on my shoulders? I can't think logically because I'm not packing for weather but for experiences.

Which is why I will never be a light packer. And why I don't fully understand how someone can backpack across Europe with one bag. Don't they yearn for a certain skirt when they stand before the Parthenon? Don't they wish they had packed that fluttering dress as they grace the bottom of the Spanish Steps?

I'm leaving the office shortly. I think I will stop at CVS and buy some travel-size Dove shampoos so my hair will smell exactly right when I get in my car Saturday morning and begin my week of experiences.

Reluctance and Respect

Recently I was emailing one of my professors and wanted to tell her what I was up to and where I landed after my four magnificent years of exceptional education.

And I thought to myself, what would she think of me now? I have a great job that I like and don't plan on leaving in 2009 anyway, but it's not at all what I set out to do when I first graced the studious halls and stages dripping with creativity. Theater, I said. That's it. That's all there is, that's what I love and want to do forever. People actually get paid to stand on a stage and pour out their heart?

So I guess I discovered that there is more than one "right way" to go. I found something else that I'm good at, and I'm putting it to the test. The magnetic bond between myself and my job is still building, not quite there yet as it was in theater, but I could see it taking off within a couple of years. If you're good at something and people notice, why shouldn't you pursue it, right?

I'm not going to say that I'm reluctant to say what I do, because that's not true. I'm proud of where I ended up. But sometimes I do wonder what would have happened if I had catapulted myself into NYC or LA and just tried to make it work. Scary, yes. Regrettable? Probably not. But I like it here. Even if I am playing it safe. Then again, maybe the risk is what makes things interesting. If I can find the risks in the day-to-day and continually take them and come out on top, that's just as rewarding. It's still a goal, still something to reach toward.

I don't think I will be winning any Tony awards soon but I will be winning my own respect, and that's more important than shiny gold statues on the mantel.

Symmetry and Stupidity

Perfect design doesn't have to be symmetrical.

What is the world's obsession with symmetry?

I used to be a follower of symmetry too. Occasionally I think I am developing OCD because I still have the tendency to want everything perfectly aligned, perfectly planned, perfectly calculated, and I'll tell you, it's not all it's cracked up to be!

This morning I came to the office and sat down at 8:27. Naturally I couldn't start focusing until exactly 8:30, so I started making a to-do list. Two things got scratched out and I had to make a new list on a new post-it so there wouldn't be any ugly scratch marks. But by then, it was 8:34, so I had to wait another 6 minutes to start being productive. What a weirdo.

So that's not really symmetry, but my point is that if we all just stopped for a second and thought about why we need things to align and why I can't begin working until the time is a multiple of ten, we would see that these things don't have to be!

We CAN go and paint in big bold strokes that don't work together.

We CAN wear mismatched socks. In fact, I know a few people who already do this.

We CAN start tackling a big project even if it is not perfectly planned out.

And sometimes things work out.

Creating Habits

I always hear that if you set aside time each day to do something it will become a habit.

For me, I have found it to be...

• very true for writing.
• somewhat true for cleaning my room.
• definitely not true for avoiding sugar and coffee.

But to get back to example one, I have to agree that writing every day makes me want to write more. I thought it would be the opposite and I'd get sick of it. I guess it depends on what you're putting aside time FOR. So, if you like making to-do lists and give yourself fifteen minutes each morning to organize your day and make a list, then you will do it. If you hate to work out, but block out an hour every day when you get home, grudgingly you will probably get used to it being part of your time.

Setting small goals is the key. Make yourself do something for three days straight and just focus on those three days, and see what happens on four.

I don't need a choreographer.

I just wanted to share that I found an entire section in On Demand devoted to learning music video dance moves. Why was this not brought to my attention before??
So basically this Friday I can be Britney, Justin, Pink, and about 30 other celebs by stealing their moves from these speedway-paced lessons. Look for me in the spotlight!

Also excited that that my band has a gig on my birthday in July...woohoo!! Maybe I'll do something crazy to celebrate.
Suggestions?

Muscle Memory

I am always amazed (though it happens so frequently I really shouldn't be) at how I can sit down at my keyboard for the first time in months and three songs come out! I'm sure there are scientific studies about how muscle memory works, but it's quite the feat. I mean, I haven't played these songs or touched the same keys in the same combination since the middle of winter and now something lets my hands fly around and suddenly there are three actual melodies in the air. I love it.

I got so excited about it that I revisited my days of piano lessons and broke out some of my sheet music to take advantage of my momentum, and what do you know? I busted through the whole of Piano - Grade One and moved on to relearning "Part of Your World." Don't give me that look, it's a great song and you all wish you could play and sing it at the same time! And now I'm progressing into Wicked. Lord save us all from Kelly's musical triumphs.

Code Words

I would love to know who chooses the security words you have to type in to post on Craigslist. This week alone I've had "the barnacles," "labor romaine" and "pizza coke." Normally I would say it was a randomized process but of course the last one brings to mind some hunched over secretary plotting his run to the cafeteria on hot lunch day.

It would be funny if the words actually meant something, like a secret code to let you know that your post will be hacked in the next 5 hours or that someone is currently and inconspicuously breathing down your neck.

If I were in charge, I would write things like "If You Seek Amy" and "Hid En Massage." And of course set them for the "adult services" section.

Thorns

Why is it that whenever I get more and more brilliant ideas I find it hard to finally sit down and DO something about any of them? I currently have 6 post-its with things to do and no matter how many I cross off I just can't seem to start the ones that need the most attention.

I think I got it backwards in study skills - they told me to take care of the "big rocks" first and then do the little ones. But I figured that the more little things I finished the more productive I'd feel and then could devote the rest of my time to that big thing looming over my head. Not so.

It's unfortunate because the big things were the ones I was most excited about when I thought of them and now they have slowly evolved to thorns in my side.

Suggestions? Sympathy? Feel free to comment or commiserate.

Keeping up my Poker Face

Awesome show at the Varsity Club last weekend.

The new songs went over well - I think we'll keep them. Poker Face = brilliant.

Attempting to put up some videos from our performance on Facebook this week. For something that sounds so easy, it's actually more complicated than I thought! Maybe it will go viral by June and become a YouTube sensation.

I love that people can go to bar and just let loose and have crazy dance parties to their favorite Top 40s. Reading the crowd is fairly easy when they participate. I want to get up close and personal and hear their requests and interact and let them know that I do this for me AND for them. Yes, I am a bit of an attention hog but mostly I just enjoy being part of a great experience and knowing that I'm contributing to someone's weekend.

Do I have plans to make it big? I don't know. The idea has certainly crossed my mind in past years as I was making my ten-year life plan, but now I'm taking things as they come and it's not so bad, this spontaneity thing. Ideally, I'll be able to keep doing what I love until I'm physically incapable or someone rips out my vocal chords, and whether I'm onstage at the Tweeter Center or rocking a basement house party, it's the same rush.

Cupcakes and Coming Attractions

Really, reeaalllyy excited for a gig at the local Quincy/Braintree hang-out tomorrow night.
We're debuting four new songs and a little surprise (if you are wondering how a band can have surprises beyond new songs, keep your eyes on our FB page and hopefully I will have a video documenting the big event shortly!)

Check out Not Exactly on our Facebook page.

Also, I'm glad that cupcakes can be a great source of entertainment and community bonding. Especially cupcakes branded with the band's name and logo. And especially cupcakes that end up as a topic of questionable conversation later on FB. Hmm. Maybe next time I will bring something safer, like pretzels. Oh no, that doesn't work either.

Solo or Banded Together?

I wonder if it is better to be surrounded by people that are like you or to be the one that stands out.

If I am labeled "creative," then is it beneficial to be around other "creatives" and revel in all of our creativeness and discuss it and break it down and perhaps not use it, or to be the one colored zebra that stands solo and because there is no other outlet is forced to continually produce things that satisfy the craving for creativity.

Wow, that was a mouthful.

But seriously. Creating something with someone else is only useful if you both contribute to the final product and share equally in the experience, no? If I co-write a song but the other person doesn't actually do anything, then it's still only my song, which would have been the same as writing on my own minus the frustration.

I will work on my synergy in the future.

You Need a Gimmick.

But do you really?

What do we value most - greatness and quality or bloated attention-grabbing stuff?

Take, for example, local bands. When a great band comes into existence, they have to work hard to get the coveted spots in the best bars and music hot-spots. They have to be experienced musicians, ready to roll with every punch, letting the high notes shine and the last notes ring, and they have to make it all look effortless. This is not a gimmick, this is talent and dedication.
And yet sometimes it is still not enough.

When you see YouTube stars and fading one-hit-wonders (William Hung, Tila Tequila...) you have to wonder whether we are fascinated by the quick rise of someone who is bound to eventually fall and fall hard, or those that find the mountains, climb them, and STICK at the top.

I'd like to say proudly that we encourage the latter. But the stubborn persistance of reality tv (ok, I love Top Model like anyone else, but The Cougar??) and Ripley's-style breaking news brings doubts. The poor recipient of America's first face transplant doesn't know she's a victim of the car-crash syndrome. I bet 90% of working-class citizens walking out their door yesterday morning did a perfectly executed pivot turn to stare at her before-and-afters.

Which is more gratifying? Five seconds of online fame or five years of respect? And what about the people that don't ask for their five seconds and are forever remembered for them?

The bar has officially been lowered.

Lateral Thinking

I love when things connect.

I had a teacher in high school who used to point this out to us but I never payed attention.

You know how when you buy a new car, suddenly you start to see it everywhere?
That's what I mean. When you think about something often enough or hard enough, suddenly the parallels to other things pop up all over!

It's an interesting phenomenon that I'm sure plenty of people have written about but I'm just now discovering.

Want to make a connection? Drop me a line in the comment box!

Possibilities

I was thinking today...

What happens if you usually jump into something because you want it to happen immediately and reap the benefits right away, but you've suddenly hit upon some mind-shattering truth that maybe the waiting is actually the best part?

Okay, it's not exactly hypothetical, it's truth. And it may or may not be happening to me.

I feel a bit more mature for the sheer fact that I can recognize myself in the past and myself in the present, and the past me definitely jumped into things. All the time. Every time.
Relationships, hookups, party plans, friendships, arguments, vague notions that never quite panned out but by god the initial forward momentum was there!

And sometimes I see that it wasn't what was called for, or I didn't fully commit to it, or the recipient was obviously not quite as ready to jump in the deep end as I was, and so things fell apart.

Now, though, let me entertain the notion that if I wait for it, if I just hang on that little extra bit, wait until the circumstances and the stars line up neatly and everything fits correctly and I can think things through, maybe it will work.

I don't really need to know the end, or how my story is progressing in ten years, I just need to know that it's progressing and that wherever I end up is where I end up, and for now I'm enjoying the possibilities.

Selfishness

I think it would be beneficial to conduct a study that shows the exact breakdown, percent-wise, of those who are born with compassion and deeply care about helping and affecting other people, and those of us (yes, I said us) who do everything with the end goal of ourselves.

No, really, I'm actually curious. It seems that there are is an awful lot of fakeness floating in the atmosphere, and its clogging up the system. For instance, since I spend a great deal of time projecting myself into the social media world, I find that many "professionals" and "experts" inundate the tweeting world solely to gain followers, not because they have a sudden desire to help their neighboring small business triple in size and reputation.

Or when you do things for acquaintances and coworkers and people that just aren't quite on your Top 5 speed-dial list, are you doing favors because you want to or because you want to reap the benefits next week when it will undoubtedly matter to you?

Am I way off?

The Office

The workplace. What a strange world it is.

I am consistently amazed that my coworkers, the mean ones, the ones with strange habits, the ones who never do their job, the ones that try to hide, the ones that scream "Huh-llooooo," the ones that smile when their brain is about to explode, the ones who think Friday cocktail hour = Starbucks, and the ones who are hardly ever there...

...are, in fact, real people.

Commuting

I was thinking about music today. Well, I'm always thinking about it, but today especially.

I was in my Fusion on the commute home, with my band Cd on level 5 as usual, and thought, this is awesome. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, listening to the exact song I want on (that particular moment was "Just a Girl" but it varies every few minutes, and fortunately, so does the song that's playing). It's a minor miracle that there can be so many songs about the same things, the same themes over and over, the same lines told time and time over, and still they never get old because you can tell it in a different way.

Some day when I'm retired and have nothing better to do than putter around in a sparsely populated house, I'll sit and count all the possible combinations you can make with the notes on a keyboard, and when I'm done with that (if I haven't keeled over by then) I'll figure out how many words you can make with 26 letters and how many ways you can put the two together. I'm pretty sure if there is an answer, it would equal a strange formula involving Pi, infinity and the Bermuda triangle. And yet we keep trying to make the best of the best, that single winning combination that makes us sit up straight and our fingers tighten on the steering wheel and say, "Oh my GOD this song is awesome."

Until I find it, until I write it, I'll stick with my commute home.

Catharsis (no, it's not a biology term...)

So you know that question "If a tree falls and no one's there to hear it, does it make a sound?" or something like that... I was wondering, if I write music and play it and leave a little piece of my heart out there in the atmosphere, is it worth it? Is it really music if no one else is there to hear but its creator? Like when you write a letter to someone you hate and it makes you feel a whole lot better because you got all of your pent-up anger out but then you choose to be a nice person and rip it up.

I don't know. Maybe it's worth the catharsis (read: letting out all of your strong emotions) to transfer from brain to paper. Or you rediscover it in four years and use it as the basis for a whole new piece of art (don't lie, you were hoping I was going to say "a whole new world").

But whatever the reason, I won't stop.

If I could draw straight lines, I would make a bar graph to show the percentage of songs that are written about love. The first bar, entitled "LOVE" would cap out at about 98.3%, the second bar, "DRUGS, ALOCOHOL, TRIPPY EXPERIENCES" would reach .5%, and the third and final bar, "SONGS THAT AT FIRST SIGHT ARE NOT ABOUT LOVE BUT REALLY ARE" would make up the remaining 1.2%. I think this is reasonable. Everyone needs to vent, and songwriting happens to be one of the top outlets. Even Adam Sandler and his Thanksgiving turkey song is really about love (a deep desire for poultry, but just the same).

Tonight I am working on a song about the beginning stages of love. Do they exist? Do you just fall into it and then one day one of you voices your opinion? Does it creep up and you don't even know until you realize that fuzzy feeling is present 24 hours a day and most people around you want to smack that gleaming smile right off your face? Who knows. But the point is, however my song turns out, I think it's worth writing if just one other person agrees.